- Date: Wed, 2 Jan 2008 04:38:39 -0800 (PST)
In search of the best fun on the Web, I visited (for the 3rd time in a
year) La Russophobe’s blog:
People at soc.culture.baltics may recall that La Russophobe is presumably a nick of Kim Zigfeld: an overweight American homemaker, who saw a teenage Russian-American girl Masha Sharapova win a tennis Grand Slam event, became bloated with envy for this pretty and successful girl and started a blog dedicated to hatred towards Masha. Soon, Kim’s schtick grew into an uncontrollable hatred of all things Russian. This has produced hilarious results that are well worth looking at for a good laugh. I thank Mark Ames of Exile for pointing out this source of laughter. Here are some of the funny moments that I found:
1. Barking at an Elephant
I should probably begin in the beginning and describe the topic that started La Russophobe going – Masha Sharapova – but today, the first thing I saw was her stuff on David Johnson, so we begin with him. Bear with me -there is so much hilarious stuff at La Russophobe that it will take me 1001 nights to tell them all, and hopefully by then there will be another set of 1001 new ones waiting…
Do you remember Ivan Krylov’s fable about a tiny female pug Mos’ka that keeps on barking at an elephant (who ignores her) in order to prove to other lapdogs her own importance? Well, Kim decided to play out this fable.
Background. The most important term among American experts on Russia is “Johnson List”. This list is published about 5 days per week and is sent to all recipients who want to know the latest news about Russia.
The publisher is the Center for Defense Information (aka World Security Institute) and the List is run by David Johnson, who started this project some 10 years ago.
Johnson’s Russia List
Johnson’s Russia List(JRL) is an email newsletter containing Russia-
related news and analysis in English. David Johnson is the list’s
editor. The JRL generally comes out one or more times per day, and is
also available online. JRL’s content includes articles syndicated from
other media outlets, as well as comments contributed by its readers.
It is supported by the Center for Defense Information, part of the
nonprofit World Security Institute.
A typical daily newsletter usually contains 40 to 50 media and research articles from around the world, dealing with Russia and translated into English. It covers, almost never with David’s commentary, the full spectrum of opinions from extremist Russian nationalists to extremist Western russophobes. The readers are left to decide for themselves which information to use and which to throw out. I doubt if there exists one American expert on Russia who doesn’t read the List on a daily basis.
But Kim decided to make David yet another object of her envy and spite, with hilarious results, producing another Zigfeld folly.
Kim fired her first round of barking on June 1, 2006:
Thursday, June 01, 2006
with a thoughtful title of
Is David Johnson Worse than a Russian Skinhead?
Who’s more dangerous to Russia’s future, its skinheads or David Johnson and other “moderates” like him?
Ummm…. A tough question…. As a rule, moderates are much worse than skinheads, aren’t they, Kim?
La Russophobe’s money is on David and the “moderates.”
Does any bookmaker accept Monopoly money? Please? Pretty please?
David Johnson is the editor, and an employee of the Global Security Institute, a rather obnoxious, albeit wealthy, left-wing research institute. The GSI has close ties with the super-elite in Washington, recently honoring the “contributions” of Marxist billionaire Ted Turner, giving him something called the Alan Cranston Peace Award (the unlamented Senator Cranston (D-CA) was likely the major voice for Marxism in the U.S. Senate.) The GSI is very close to the UN organization and the World Court. The GSI is funded in part by the shadowy Schooner Capital group of Boston, MA, an international investment firm. Now, GSI is also heavily funded by another leftist front, The MacArthur Foundation. These people have a major presence in Russia (cf. Macfound.ru), and published nothing in English dealing with their activities there. …Whether or not they are working in concert with the CIA and Soros is a matter for speculation, though my contacts in Moscow suggest that they are (and they are far from alone in this).
In other words, Alan Cranston, the CIA, George Soros, Ted Turner, CNN, UN, MacArthur Foundation, World Court – they are all Russian agents….
Next, Kim explains why she likes skinheads more than moderates like David Johnson: he is a racist. Proof:
As faithful readers of La Russophobe will already know, some time ago La Russophobe asked why David Johnson didn’t have a category devoted to race violence on his website.
“A faithful reader of La Russophobe” is one of the terms that Kim uses to refer to herself.
Seeing the absence of a special category devoted to racism, Kim suggested that CDI hire her to run this category. The Center for Defense Information thanked Kim for her vigilance and her offer and replied:
We would likely give serious consideration to such a category in the JRL archive. However, we know nothing about your qualifications to participate in our enterprise. As you have no familiarity with Johnson’s Russia List and no apparent expertise on Russia it is difficult for us to work with you.
And this snub got Kim really mad. It’s not only the salary that she lost. It’s not knowing who she is!
La Russophobe dares to wonder what MLK would think of this response.
MLK here stands for Martin Luther King, and I bet he would be furious to hear that Kim didn’t get the job. Why MLK? Apparently Kim considers herself as MLK’s second coming:
all the things you have just written about me were written about Martin Luther King by white moderates.
Yes, Kim also refers to herself in third person singular as well as first person plural. As in:
La Russophobe is sorry to hear that you don’t approve of her style.
But we have digressed….
Kim is also upset that Moscow Times rejected some article she wrote because this article lacked supporting facts:
La Russophobe wonders how many times Martin Luther King was attacked for lacking “adequate factual support”.
I hope not often. I hope MLK’s claims were based on facts not fiction.
But that innocent question as to who Kim was and what relationship she had to Russian studies – that got her mad. Hopping mad. Foam around the mouth mad. Losing all sleep and respite, she threw herself with abandon into the investigation of David Johnson’s credentials:
Sunday, June 04, 2006
David Johnson’s “Credentials” as a “Russia Expert” and Conflict of Interest
Seeing as how David Johnson has raised the issue of credentials … La Russophobe feels this is an appropriate time to review the credentials of Mr. Johnson himself, a so-called leading expert on Russia.
Why would anybody think that? David is simply the administrator in charge of the List…
Here are some of the more salient points of his biography that La Russophobe has unearthed so far:
He’s not listed in Wikipedia.
Correct. He is listed under “Johnson’s List”.
Although the bio claims that Johnson “is now the editor of the CDI Russia Weekly, an electronic newsletter on contemporary Russia,” in fact the CDI website currently states: “The CDI Russia Weekly no longer is published… The JRL generally comes out one or more times per day. Why is it no longer published? Seems like CDI is not interested in saying.
Indeed, why does CDI publish the List several times per day instead of publishing it only once a week?! Lazy bums!
Has he ever published a book about Russia, or taught courses in the subject? It would not appear so.
Have you, Kim? For that matter, have you ever read a book? It would not appear so.
Unlike Johnson, Congressman Michael Harrington has a Wikipedia entry, but it is merely a cut-and-paste job from the offical Congressional biography entry, and carries a warning lable from Wiki’s editors that such is insufficient to constitute a reliable entry in its pages.
Wow. Looks like that was Kim’s very first visit to Wikipedia….
Apparently Mr. Johnson didn’t feel there was much of a need to write an entry (nor did anyone else), and the entry fails to indicate any significant achievement of the congressman during his four terms in office… La Russophobe hasn’t yet discovered any, and would be happy to hear about them from knowledgeable readers. Meanwhile, it seems to her that a Democratic congressman from the People’s Republic of Massachussets is likely to be at least somewhat, shall we say, “understanding” of
the “special needs” of the USSR.
Kim, since you have discovered Wiki, look up “USSR” there. You will discover that it no longer exists (for 16 years now) and thus can’t have too many “special needs”. Unlike you.
I wonder why the Russia List refused to hire a woman who seriously thinks that USSR not only still exists but even has “special needs”… Very puzzling… Must be a “cabal”… (“Cabal” is Kim’s favourite
word. It denotes a world-wide conspiracy among experts and governments to ignore her.) You know, the usual suspects: the CIA, George Soros, Ted Turner, CNN, UN, MacArthur Foundation, World Court, the state of
Kim tirelessly continued her quest to teach CDI a lesson for not knowing who she was. Ten days later, she reported the latest progress:
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Update on David Johnson’s Credentials
As La Russophobe’s readers know, she is in the process…
Yes, still in third person.
… of attempting to find out why David Johnson won’t cover Russian racism on his website. When last we wrote, she had discovered that his claim of having been published in the Washington Post was somewhat misleading, a la Mike Averko… La Russophobe has now heard back from Newsday, another of the claimed outlets for Johnson’s wisdom. It turns out he is slightly more significant at Newsday, logical since Newsday is a significantly less significant paper. Newsday writes that … on October 29, 1986, he actually did have an op-ed piece in the paper, one called “Soviet Sphere Gets Smaller.” The article
was co-authored with one Stephen Goose, also of Johnson’s CDI organization.
CDI again?! A very suspicious coincidence, won’t you say., Kim? Looks like David Johnson and his co-author Stephen Goose formed an illegal cabal conspiracy for the purpose of writing a Newsday article, clearly
an un-American activity.
The term “constructive engagement” sounds very similar to Martin Luther King’s “white moderate”
Of course, the two are identical, Kim. Both terms use exactly the same set of 26 letters. Pure coincidence? You be the judge, Kim.
But what drove Kim over the edge is that the New York Times PR people didn’t respond fast enough to her inquisition into David Johnson’s life.
And the New York Times? It still has yet to respond to La Russophobe‘s inquiry, and she has written its public editor to complain about the delay. The Times has been having plenty of trouble these days: in addition to the stark humiliation of
having published Mike Averko several times on its letters page, it has published Jayson Blair and Judy Miller and seen its chief editor get fired as a result, as well as both reporters. So it is perhaps not suprising that unlike the Post and Newsday the Times has yet to deliver the goods.
And such dissing of Kim is simply intolerable! So, on the very same day Kim went on to forever destroy the New York Times itself:
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Wow, the New York Times Sucks!
As readers will know, La Russophobe recently sent inquiries to three newspapers, the Washington Post, Newsday and the New York Times to inquire about what publications in their pages had been made by David Johnson of Johnson’s Russia List fame. Both the Post and Newsday promptly responded and provided the information La Russophobe requested.
The Times however, always arrogant and insular, was another matter. Its editors totally ignored La Russophobe‘s inquiry, and when she complained about them to the Times’ Public Editor, this is the response she got from his assistant Joseph Plambeck:
“This office doesn’t not [sic] provide or monitor this kind of research for the public.”
These snobs called Kim “a public”! And these snots snubbed her snooping around!
Yes, grammar error and all, that was the rude, boorish, arrogant response of the vaunted New York Times — which, perhaps not surprisingly, has published several letters to the editor from certified lunatic Mike Averko.
FYI, I don’t know who this ubiquitous Mike Averko is (he has no Wiki page either :-)), but he is Kim’s alter ego. He is mentioned in almost all her articles. Kim lives to teach this Mike Averko fellow that she is a somebody! Mike is to Kim what “Devil” was to the Church Lady on Saturday Night Live.
and just undergone two massive scandals involving false reporting on its front page (first Jayson Blair and then Judith Miller).
Is that also David Johnson’s fault? And what would MLK say about this?
No explanation of why it doesn’t provide this service, no apology, no help finding a source who might do so, just the cold, cavalier, brush-off. Apparently, the Times just plain doesn’t care if people make misrepresentations about having published in its pages. Probably it has enough to worry about tracking down its own misrepresentations, and trying to sweep them under the carpet. Still, you’d think that the Times would have a slightly better attitude towards customer service, seeing as how there is now so much competition from other papers, TV, Internet and what not (even, dare we say it . . . the dreaded blogs).
Fascinating… Mind-opening and then mind-boggling… Kim, your TV dinner is burning!
Truly, the Times is not what it used to be — and from the looks of things, like Russia itself, it is not much interested in getting better.
To paraphrase Mayakovsky, “Russia” and “New York Times” are twin brothers; when we say “Russia”, we mean “New York Times”, and when we say “New York Times”, we mean “Russia”… All part of the same cabal to ignore Kim and her snooping. Ignoring the obvious fact that only Kim’s letters can lead them to greatness.
The CIA, George Soros, Ted Turner, CNN, UN, MacArthur Foundation, World Court, the state of Massachusetts, now New York Times… Who’s next? Agents of Kremlin one and all…