Love at First Site: a Shakespearean Tragedy Hits the American Mass Media

Year 2013 threatens to be a year of horrors. It already started, as our illustrious American mass media hit its viewers was hit by a devastating news: catfishing exists! It turns out that some catfish played an internet hoax on a Notre Dame football player Manti Te’o, pretended to be a beautiful girl, made Manti fall remotely and madly in love with her, and then confided in him that she had died, which he believed and shared his story with millions of ABC TV viewers, which the yellow scum ABC Sports turned into its usual tearjerker. Manti told ABC News that this “girl” that he had never met in person was the love of his live and (I quote) “the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met. Not because of her physical beauty, but the beauty of her character and who she is.

And suddenly, yesterday the country was hit by the devastating news that this had been a hoax. As the cheap demagogues ABC Nightline reports, “on the campus of Notre Dame today nothing but stunned dismay“. The Notre Dame athletic director Jack Swarbrick even shared with the reporters that the concept of pretending to be somebody else on the internet catfishing is a technique too complicated for him to understand.

Evidently, the thought that some jocks and athletic supporters directors are not the brightest bulbs in the garland, hit the Notre Dame students even worse than the news that the Pope is not Irish the Holy Ghost Santa Claus is not real will hit them soon after graduation. In the country where sports figures are considered the ultimate summits in human genetic development (unlike Russia where musicians, poets and scientists are considered the sexiest people), the news that some of them may not be perfect in character or mental prowess, is a national tragedy.

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